life:giftorcurse?

i'minpain.i'msuffering.i'msufferingsomuchthatidon'tevenrealisei'minpain. let'sbelieveinNOTHINGforasecond.detachment:nothingtomiss,nothingtohave,nothingtofear.great. livingisn'tsobad,igettomeetreallyintertingpeople,expressmyselfandfallinlove.though,idohvetolietomyselftobelieveanyofthisismeaningful.theabilitytoquestionsepeatesmefromthebeatswhichdwell,eagertotakeourplaceuponthetwistedpyramidalheirachyoftheworld.theabilitytoquestionandyetnotrecieveANSWERS.theinsatiablehunger.theunquenchablethirst. suffering?acurse?